Some things I am learning and re learning

Since coming home from the hospital I have learned and re learned some things about pregnancy, post pregnancy, newborns, etc. Most are frustrating things, some are funny things and some are things I should have remembered and totally forgotten about.

1. Pj's. PJ's with buttons on them are horrible. When changing a diaper in the middle of the night in the dark and you have to re button your babies jammies.... most mornings she wakes up and her jammies are so jacked up.

2. Body back When you near the end of your pregnancy you go once this baby gets out I will have my body back... NOT! Once your baby comes you are on 24 hour food duty. You are on call all the time to produce milk and feed your baby. Don't get me wrong I LOVE nursing. Love it. But I really should have remembered that you don't fully get to have your body back till you are done nursing.

3.Working out. Another thing I kept thinking was once I have her I can start working out again at about 4 weeks... once again wrong-o. I tried to work out at 4 weeks post partum, well I ended up heavily bleeding for a few days afterwards because my body wasn't ready yet. So I tried again this week (5.5 weeks post partum) and I had been doing great but nope started having problems again. Sigh maybe that's why they tell you to wait till 8 weeks. But let me tell you its so not easy to wait 8 weeks when you feel like you look like a pig.

4. Baby spit up. I cant believe I forgot how frustrating baby spit up can be. I am a walking talking spit rag. I feel like I smell like spit up even after I take a shower. And who ever said breast milk babies spit up don't smell, well they need to come smell my babys spit up cause it stinks.

5. Some babies hate their car seats. This is new to me. Ive heard it before but I have never experienced it. But Miss T HATES her carseat more then anything. She cries from the moment I place her in it till the moment I take her out.

6. Laundry. Oh Laundry. I wash her blankets and burp cloths. I dry them, I fold them, I put them away in her draws, I take one out to use, she spits up on it, I throw it in the basket and I start the whole process over again. This is a daily thing. I dont know why I fold them, I dont know why I put them away. I dont understand why I do this. Maybe I have OCD since everything always has to be in its place, I dont know. But what I do know is that I HATE this process and its getting old fast!

7. Pumping. Im not quite sure why this happens but its new to me, every time I pump I pump everything I have and I feed it to Miss T well its never enough. But if I feed Miss T, via boob, she eats everything I have and is satisfied. Do they get more sucking then the pump can get? I only pump in the afternoon cause she normally sleeps through her 3 o'clock feeding and I need relief so I pump and when she wakes up at 4 I feed her the bottle and every time she is pissed off to the max and I have to nurse her. So frustrating.

8. Maternity clothes. I thought for sure I would be able to walk in my house and throw out all my maternity clothes... HA! None of my clothes fit at all. My maternity clothes are too big, my pre baby clothes are too small. I literally have 2 choices where clothes too big or wear clothes too tight... gee which one sucks less. So I choose to wear workout clothes all the time cause they at least kinda fit. The problem with this is Im forever in my workout clothes and never in cute clothes. I want to wear cute clothes again! I want to not look frumpy any more, I want clothes that fit, I want to not have this awesome muffin top thing going on when I put on my pre preggo jeans.

9. Newborn clothes. Why do we buy newborn clothes they only last a week or 2. Tell me why did I spend money on clothes she wore once?

10. Touching. Why does every person in America want to touch a newborn. I know they are cute and have soft skin and are so stinkin adorable. But I have no clue if your hands are clean, I have no clue if you have a cold or are sick, I have no clue who YOU ARE. It makes me so nervous when people want to touch her and Im such a guilty person that I always say yes and then immediately after they are gone I rub anti bacterial soap on her. Paranoid... maybe.

11. Doing it alone. This is one Im struggling with daily. I know Im a military wife and that means having to do alot of things alone. But raising a newborn and a toddler on your own is HARD work. I dont have someone coming home at 5 and helping me the rest of the night. I dont have someone to get up at 3 am and occasionally help me change a diaper, I dont have anyone to help me when the baby is screaming cause she wants to be fed and the toddler is screaming cause he wants attention. Its harder then I ever thought it would be. I honestly think that it would be a piece of cake if Chris were home. So ladies if your husband is home take a moment to appreciate them and all they do cause I would give anything to have mine home.

So those are a few things I am dealing with right now. Some are things I already knew and forgot about and some are completely new to me. But all I can do is take it all one day at a time and re learn and deal with everything that comes my way. Im doing the best I can and I know that. And I also know that this wont last forever. I know eventually I will have my body back, I know that eventually my husband will be home, and eventually she will be older and eventually my kiddos will love each other and I know the laundry will never end. =)

Tenley is 1 Month Old!!

1 MONTH OLD!!!

 

I can not believe my baby girl is 1 month old! Time has gone by so fast. I can not believe that a whole month has passed. I feel like just yesterday I had her in the front seat of the car. bahaha. I am falling more and more in love with her everyday and so is Marcus. Marcus loves to hold her and he tries to play with her and he loves to walk up and wake her up when shes sleeping. Mommy dosent care for that one too much. Heres just a few fun facts. She loves tummy time, she HATES her car seat, and she loves to watch reality tv with mommy. (Ha I made that last one up. But seriously she sits in my lap everynight and watches my bad reality tv with me and she never makes a peep) But happy 1 month birthday baby girl. Our life is feeling more complete with you here. I just wish your daddy was here because then we would be 110% complete. =)                    

 

                                                                          BABY STATS:

SLEEP: You are still my amazing sleeper. You LOVE to sleep. You will sleep any and everywhere. Your day/night is this. You wake up for the day at 830. You are awake till 11 and then take a 4 hour nap. You wake up and are up till 5 and then you doze off and on till 930 and we go to bed and you sleep till 4 and then the day starts all over again.

 

FEED: You are still breastfeed. I am so proud of you. You are a breast feeding champ. You eat every 3 hours except for your 4 hour nap and during the night. But you eat for about 6-8 mins each side.

Weight:  Last time you were weighed you weighed 8lbs 11oz

Length: 21.5 in 

Milestone: You love tummy time and you are getting so good at lifting your head. Most the time you are trying to find "the sucky thing" but you lift your head up and will keep it up for a good while.

Your favorite toy: Your bouncer.  

 

Favorite Memory: I have 2 this month. The first one is sitting on the couch with you and Marcus. Marcus was holding my hand and you were sleeping in my arms. Its moments like that that just break my heart. I love you both so much. My 2nd favorite memory is we went to Barnes and Nobles for story time and we used the double stroller for the first time. Well we were waiting for mommys coffee and some little boy comes up and looks at you and reaches his hand out to probably touch your feet or something and Marcus goes "No! My baby!!" and leans foward and puts his hands in front of you as if to protect you. It was the cutest thing in the whole world and you were looking at your big brother the whole time.  

 

Here's a few pics of our little Love Bug at 1 month old

 

Mommy Stats:

Pre-Pregnancy weight: n/a

Day of delivery weight: n/a
Current weight: haha. still not posting

Weight Gained: 33lbs

Weight Lost So Far: 26lbs

Weight to go: 7lbs till pre baby but still hoping to lose another 40. I really want to be at the weight I was at was before I got pregnant with Marcus. So 47lbs weight loss here we come. My goal is 27lbs by Dec. Which is 7lbs a month for 4 months. I can do it!!  

Pre-Pregnancy cup size: 34B
Current cup size: Its finally gone down to about a 38 C

Pre-pregnancy size: 9
Current size: Yea I live in my yoga pants. Haha. Im not even gonna try jeans until I at least lose those other 7lbs.

Our little blessings

So last week my little man turned 2 and a half and today Tenley turns 4 weeks old. It hit me kind of hard. Everyday I look at him and think how did you get so big? When did you become this big boy? Where did my baby go?

8 years ago I was told that my chances of ever getting pregnant were slim to none or we would need "help" conceiving. At 16 years old I wasn't overly concerned about it. I didn't want to have a baby for years so I would "deal" with it then. When Chris and I decided to get married at 18 I knew that I had to "deal" with it then. Not because I wanted kids right away but because I needed to make sure that Chris knew it was a possibility and make sure he knew what he was getting himself into. He reassured me that he wanted to be with me and if that meant never having kids well then that was ok. Fast forward 3 years into our marriage. I was still being told that we would need "help" to have a baby. So we still were thinking it wasn't going to happen until one day I had Chris run over to his moms house for something we needed for our trip to FL for 2 weeks and while he was gone I got a funny feeling and went and took a pregnancy test. You ask why I even had one. Well I had one because even though I knew it couldn't happen. I still took a test A LOT! We never used birth control and I always thought humm I think my period should already be here and I would take a test and it would always say NEGATIVE or NOT PREGNANT. Well this time I took the test and walked away knowing that it would say the same thing but I thought maybe I should make sure before we go and celebrate my 21st birthday in FL. So I walked away and about 10 mins later I walked into the bathroom to pack my bathroom stuff and glanced at the test and had to do a double triple take and say the word PREGNANT. I sat down in the middle of the bathroom floor and started shaking. Im not quite sure why I was so scared and why I started shaking but I was terrified. I called Chris and told him I took a test and that I needed another one cause it was probably broken. Well I sat on the floor until Chris came rushing home with another test and I took both and they both said positive. Chris started crying and I started crying and it was the happiest moment of my life thinking that there was this little miracle baby growing in my belly. I hadn't wanted to get pregnant so young and so early into our marriage. But knowing God had blessed us with this little baby made everything ok.

I will always hold a very very special place in my heart just for Marcus because he was never supposed to be here. He is our little miracle and to look at him now it melts my heart because I cant imagine life without him. I love him more then words can ever say and everytime he hits a new milestone Im reminded of how precious life is and how you should never take it for granted.

I am now blessed with two little miracles. My doctors said the cure for what I had was getting pregnant. At the time its like so what I have means I can never get pregnant but the best cure for it is getting pregnant. Gee thanks. But obviously it was the cure cause after 6 months of trying to get pregnant we found out I was pregnant again. God really does work in mysterious ways. We went into our marriage thinking we would be one of those old married couples with no kids and we were fine with that. But now we are a young couple with 2 kids under 3. I feel so blessed and so grateful for what we have been given.

Marcus Levi you are the light in my life. Your laughter melts my heart. I love to sit and watch you play and run around and scream. I love how you say I love you. I love how much you love your little sister and how protective you are of her I love how you come running up to me when you hurt yourself and want me to blow on your boo boo. I love how if you see that I have a boo boo you blow on it and say okay mommy. I love how you come and sit on the couch and hold my hand. I love how much you shake when you are signing please or more cause you want something so badly. I just love you little man and cant believe you are 2.5 years old.

Tenley Prius you are this little angel baby. I love snuggling with you. I would snuggle with you all day long if I could. I love how you don't cry during the night when your hungry you just lay in your crib and go "urgggggghhhhh" haha. I love you so much already and cant wait to see the person you are going to become. I can not believe you are 4 weeks old today. Time is seriously passing by so fast and I want to stop it for awhile and snuggle with you.

I know this was a long sappy blog. But its hard to think about my babies growing up and its hard to think about what life would have been like without them. I cant imagine my life any other way. I love those 2 kiddos so much. I just cant wait until Daddy is home and can see them and we can finally all be together again. =)

2 weeks old

2 Weeks Old!!!!

Your 2 weeks old sweetheart!! I can not believe how fast time has gone by. I can not believe 2 weeks ago I gave birth to you and now your here. Your apart of our family, you have become part of our daily routine, you have wiggled your way even deeper into my heart. I love you so much. Your brother even loves you a little more this week ;) He has finally started to get used to you and not be as jealous.                   

 

                                                            BABY STATS:

SLEEP: You still sleep a lot of the day. Your up for about 3-4 hours off and on through out the day. At night you go about 5-6 hours, wake up eat and go right back to sleep for about 4 hours. 

 

FEED: You are still being Breast feed!! Which I am so excited about cause your brother ate so much I couldnt keep up so he got formula during week 2 and so far you are only breast feed. You eat every 3 hours during the day for about 15-20 mins total.

Weight:  Not sure how much you weigh you have your 2 week doc appt this week so we will see then.

Length: Find out this week =) 

Milestone: Your cord fell out this week. It was kinda sad cause that just means your starting the process of growing up =( 

Your favorite toy: Still your sleeper. You have become quite found of your swing though.  

 

Favorite Memory: Sitting on the couch snuggling with you while your brother napped and watching Love in the Wild. You were so happy and so awake and listening to me talk all about the show. It really made me realize that I now have someone to talk to about my reality tv show addiction. lol.

 

Here's a few pics of Miss T at 2 weeks old

 



Love how she holds her hands



I know its dark but my mom doesn't know how to use my camera. haha. so she couldnt use the flash. But its Miss T and I passed out cold after a trip to the commissary. Silly me went grocery shopping on payday with a 2 week old =(