No weigh april

I have decided that after today I will not weigh myself for the whole month of April. I wouldn't weigh myself today except I have to with my trainer... Woomp woomp woomp. Oh well. So for the rest of April I will not weigh myself. I want to see what I can accomplish without the scale.
So here's to no weigh April. I will use my trainers measurements today as a reference to what I will be may 1st.
This might be the hardest thing ever. But maybe it'll finally give me the courage to post my current weight. I don't know why my current weight bothers me so much. I mean I've almost lost 40lbs but it still feels like when I post it people will still be like wow she has such a long way to go still or they would say omg she was so big before. I just hate the number on the scale. I want people to look at me and see me and not a number.
I finally broke down and told my mom which was a really hard thing to do for me. My whole family is thin and they make fun of overweight people all the time. Never realizing that as they were making fun of someone it hurt me because she was my size or whatever. They never made fun or me or called me names but it still wasn't easy being the fat girl in a thin family.
When I told my mom her response was really encouraging and it felt good to tell someone other than my husband. I have lots of skinny friends and they are always like I'm so fat or I need a diet. I seriously hate skinny people who call themselves fat to hear someone day oh but your so skinny. Blah, blah, blah.
Anyways back on topic. Haha. No weigh April has officially begun :)

Myrtle beach 2013

We decided to randomly take a family vacation because its the only weekend my husband is guaranteed to have a pass for. His job won't allow him to leave a 30 mile radius for the next few months so we had this one weekend where his unit was allowed to leave said 30 miles and we jumped at the opportunity to go.
We immediately looked at our favorite hotel in myrtle beach and they had rooms so we booked 2 nights and started planning our mini vacation.
We got there Friday morning at 8am and went the hotel to see if we could check in early and we could!! Yay! So we went to the beach and walked as far as Tenley's little legs would allow.
Then we went swimming in the indoor pool. (Way too cold outside) and let me tell you this summer is going to be such a blast with my two babies loving the water as much as they do. Teny was a little daredevil and Marcus was happy as could be swimming around in his floaty.
We then gave the babies their afternoon naps and then headed out to medieval times. I was nervous as to how Teny would do sitting for 2+ hours but she did so well. I knew Marcus would love love love it and he did. Marcus and Tenley both loved it. They loved the show and the horses and the special effects. They were so amazing.
Saturday was spent shopping and swimming and eating and seeing the croods, Ripley's aquarium, and more shopping. It was so much fun. Until we got back to our room and Marcus had a super high fever and spent most the night curled up next to me trying to sleep(we gave him medicine but it didn't seem to help). It was pitiful. So we left bright and early Sunday so we could get him home and nurse him back to health. He got a real bad stomach bug and wasn't back to himself till wed.
Besides Marcus getting sick it was a great/amazing weekend. I loved every second of it. I had so much fun with our little family. There was this moment at medieval times where both kids were starring open mouthed at the horses that I looked at Chris and he looked at me and we both smiled because our kids were happy, we were happy, and I couldn't ask for anything more.

Teny is in a big girl bed!

So obviously you get what this post is about! I'm so excited/terrified about this big girl bed thing.
It all started Friday night. I placed Teny in her crib walked out of her room and into the kitchen to grab her sippy and walked back to her room and bam she was on top of her changing table.
She has a crib/changer combo. Where one side of the crib has a changing table attached to it. We have loved it because it gives us so much extra space. Well we loved it, past tense. Cause there was nothing scarier than walking into her room to find her standing on top of it.
So I yell for Chris and make him come lower her bed to the lowest setting like its 4-6 inches off the floor now.
So  we put her and bubs to bed and leave their room.
She never got back out of bed so we thought we were golden... That was until the next morning when I hear her yelling "mommy" and I walk in and she's back on the table!!
I place her back in the crib and actually told her to show mommy how she climbs. So I watched as my tiny tiny 20 month old baby climbed out of a crib in which the rails are taller than her. She climbed on top of the changing table and then showed me how she climbed down using the drawers that are attached to the changing table. She uses the knobs as steps.
Then she was on the floor. I mean its a lot safer than trying to climb over the rails but it still made me queasy.
So we took her front rail off and we are now using it as a toddler bed.
So now onto how she's done with the toddler bed.
Not to toot her horn but she has been amazing!! Naps have still been 3-4 hours and she goes to bed at 730 and than wakes up at 730 the next day. She has yet to get out of bed once when she wasn't suppose to. When she wakes up at 730 she goes and knocks on the door and says mama and she does the same for naps. So she knows she can get out she just doesn't.
Its such a huge difference between what we went through with Marcus. Marcus was that kid who got out of bed a million times. Slept on the floor, took months to get him to stay in bed. Naps were horrible during this time. It was just a hot mess. We expected the same thing with Teny and so far it has been amazing. Its only been 4 days so we will see if it keeps up.
Now if only we can get a bigger house so the kids can have their own rooms so we can buy Teny a cute bedroom set. Marcus got his when he got a big boy bed. Now its Tenys turn. Hopefully this time next year we will be all moved into our new home in Maryland and I can start working on her room.

Almost there!!

I have almost lost 40lbs!! So close I can taste it!! I have been trying so hard and you know what? Hard work pays off!
I started this journey at a size 17-18!! I went to kohls this past week and picked up a size 11 thinking there is NO way but I want to try anyways... Well I had to buy the 9's!!! I was so proud. So proud I called Chris and came close to tears. There is something very rewarding in buying a smaller size pair of pants.
I am believing in myself and believing I can finish this journey and then just lead a healthy life.
I have my next weigh in with my trainer Thursday so let's see if I can get to the 40lb lost mark!!
Here is my "I'm so proud of myself I can't stop smiling in my size 9 jeans face"

Tenley's Duke appt

This has been such a long time coming. This appt has taken 8 months to get. Our tiny Tenley has suffered since birth. 20 long months we have waited to hear what's causing her so much incredible pain and well we might have an answer. Finally.
We made the 1.5 hour trip to Raleigh and found Duke really quickly. We went inside and was seen almost immediately, even though we were 20 mins early. Well we are use to waiting for an hour after your appt so this was like the royal service to us.
We had the nicest nurse ever. She was slightly in love with Teny. So in love with her that she brought other nurses to our room to meet her :)
We then met with her doctor, Dr V. He was amazing. Listening to everything we had to say and actually taking her issue seriously. Well he wanted a full history on her so we went all the way back to my pregnancy with her and her birth and her first bowel movements.
Well as soon as I said she never had meconium he about lost his marbles. Seriously. Lol
He was so upset that no one cared that she didn't have meconium and that her first bowel movement was at day 7.
He then started asking a series of questions and he is 95% sure he knows what she has.
He says she has something called hirachsprung syndrome. It basically means your butt has no nerves so it can't pass a bowel movement. The only fix for it is to have a portion of her bowel removed and to repair the opening.
She has 2 procedures set up in April. The first one is a rectal biopsy and the second is a green gel that gets inserted in her and then xrayed. She will be sedated for both procedures.
We are just trusting in God that all will be OK. Dr V said we want her to have this because the alternative to this is much much worse. Like CF, cancer, tumors, not fun stuff.
We are greatful that someone is taking it seriously and that someone is trying to fix it and help Teny not be in pain any longer.
I will be so happy once she is no longer in pain. There is nothing worse than knowing your child is in pain and there's nothing you can do about it.
Her first appt is next week so I will be back with updates next week. For now here are some pictures of our trip :)

Wow

Last month was one crazy busy month. So I shall do bullet updates and go in details on the more important ones later :)

*We went to myrtle beach for a mini vacation

*I lost a bunch of weight!

*Teny had her duke appt.

*We installed new floors in the kitchen

*Easter!!

*Took a huge leap of faith military wise and hope it all works out.

See so so busy. So those are some of the posts to come.

A little lost

So after losing so a big number over a few days I thought I was doing well. I thought I was getting the hang of losing weight again... but then I went to see my trainer and she read my food journal and she highlighted like the whole book!! Highlighting is bad :( so to me it was like what did I do wrong. I lost weight that's what matters, right? Apparently what you eat matters more. So its back to the drawing board for me. I need to learn how to eat more natural and more vegetables, apparently less fruits cause I eat too much sugar, and more protein, oh and less diary. Its so hard not to eat dairy!! But I want to lose weight the right way. I don't want to put it right back on when I'm not being as diligent as I am now. I need to make it a lifestyle change not a "lose weigh fast thing" . So that's the plan. Let's see how it goes. I'm so excited for Monday to get here so I can post my weight loss for this week. Its so amazing!! And today is only Friday. Which means I could lose more between now and Monday. This weight is falling off right now and I can't wait to see if I can hit my next goal by Mon.