A littlr bit of this and a little bit of that

I just wanted to do an update on life in pictures :)

Marcus had turkey day at school and we got to go eat with him. It was a blast :) 

Someone is in love with dadaddy's necklace, her milk and her dolly that she named IzzzzZzYyyy. That's code for Izzy. 

Ten turned 16 months old on Friday :)

They both wanted to hold my hand while waiting ar school.

Once we gave this little girl some celery she has had a much happier belly and has actually pooed!!

My first pair of new jeans since losing 24lbs!!!

Date night with my amazing husband 

Marcus and his new choo choos

Marcus and ten before christmas pics at school

So there you have it our littlr update on life this past week. I love weeks like this one. Fun, busy, happy, crazy, and just pretty awesome :) 

Day 3 of Eating clean

As I said in the title I am at day 3 of clean eating. Overall I've done amazing. I have stuck to my meals and not over eaten once and haven't mindless snacked. I did eat some pita chips yesterday and today and I still drink my coffee so its not completely clean. But like I told my husband you don't want to see me without my morning coffee. 

So day one was pretty easy. I was so determined I didn't care that I felt hungry. I ate what I was suppose to and didn't slip up once. My diet was this on day one. 

Breakfast egg whites with spinach, mushrooms, and tomatoes. 

Lunch salad with chicken, boiled egg, stanch, tomatoes and I used a very light grape based dressing. 

Dinner was another salad.

I snacked twice eating strawberry's, grapes and string cheese for protein. 

So super good for me anyways. 

I did break my promise of not stepping on the scale and jumped on the scale Saturday morning. I had lost 3lbs already though so I knew I was doing something right. 

I pretty much ate the same more salads, some turkey, sweet potatoes, green beans, and some fruits. 

I weighed myself again today (Sunday) and lost another 2lbs. So 5lbs in 2 days. Not bad. I know its just the water weight but I don't care. I needed it to go away so I could get my weight loss back on track and now I'm officially back to my current weight with a weight loss of 24lbs. I seriously need to hit this 25lb mark. I keep getting so close and miss it by .2lbs. Its crazy, its annoying, its frustrating. I really am hoping to wake up in the morning and see that I have officially lost 25lbs. We shall see. My goal with clean eating was to make it to 27lbs weight loss because that puts me at pre Tenley weight. That would be the best buy Thanksgiving present EVER!! 

Let's see what the scale has for me tomorrow. 

I seriously think someone needs to come take my scale away from me. I need scale intervention. I can't not weigh myself every day. Ugh. Maybe one day I'll have self control where the scale is concerned. 

Back on Track

I kinda wrote this 3 days ago and forgot to post so here's the post and I'm about to post an update on this :)

So I fell off the weight loss band wagon bad this past week, but just cause you mess up for a week doesn't mean you should quit all together. So I'm back on the band wagon and starting with eating clean. Gotta get all the (fabulous) yucky food outta my system. I ate clean for a week when I first started my weight loss journey and lost 5lbs the first week. There is just something about eating completely clean that does a body some good. After all the carabaras, outback, wine, candy, ice cream, Starbucks (count 7 in 2 days) and bread my body is freaking OUT! I mean why wouldn't it freak out. I'm holding onto tons of water weight from all the salt from all the bad food. My body hasn't had greasy food in months and has no clue how to procress the stuff anymore. So my body needs a good week or 2 of eating clean. I'm shooting for 5 days of eating clean and then we will see where to go from there. I say 5 days because Thanksgiving is next week and there is no way I'm passing on the yummyness of Thanksgiving.

I have a love hate relationship with eating clean. The first 2 days I feel like I'm starving and then everyday after that I feel AMAZING! So its getting past the first few days that is the HARDEST. But seeing the scale go up from water weight is the WORST thing in the world. So I don't care if I have to "starve" for the next 2 days I am sticking with my clean eating plan.

I got so wrapped up in all the yummy foods over the past month or so that I really stopped watching what I was eating and kind of went with the mind set of "Oh I will just work out and be fine". But that really doesn't work. I need to remind myself that this journey isn't only a couple month thing or a year thing. Its a forever thing and I will always be tempted by food and I need to find a way to have fun, eat and not over do it at the same time.

So my goal for this week is eat clean, don't cheat, lose the water weight, work out twice a day at least 3 times and not step on the scale until next Friday.

I have the worst habit of stepping on the scale every single morning. So my weight changes by ounces everyday. Its a habit I need to change. I need to weigh myself once a week and so from today till next Friday I will not weigh myself I will not even think about it. haha. Ok I will think about it every morning when I normally weigh myself but I think its whats best for me and my weight loss.

So there you have it. I failed with dieting and I'm here to change it =)
Here's a picture of the beginning of my clean eating. 

My Poor Tenley

As I mentioned in my last post, Tenley isn't sleeping, she is crying all day and pretty much all night. I am exhausted, she is exhausted, we are all exhausted. We are all so frustrated with the reason as to why she's not sleeping and it all leads back to her GI issues.

Last week the doctor prescribed her a lax and said give it 2-4 weeks and bring her back if its not working. Well its only been one week but it has turned her into a crying machine!

I researched online and it says that in babies it can take 24 hours to start working and in adults up to 48 hours to start working we are going on 168 hours and nothing is happening.

It should not be taking this long for her to have some relief. The lax is a high sugary mixture and so it makes her super hyper and then super grumpy and really upsets her tummy and makes her feel like she has to go potty but she cant.

I'm seriously at the end of my rope as to how to help her. I feel so helpless for this little baby who looks at me every time like please help me and I cant do a thing.

I understand her crying and not sleeping, I really do but it makes me so angry that I cant help her(not angry at her but just angry that she's going through this)! Like normally when your toddler wakes up you can figure out the problem and put them back to sleep, but with Ten we just have to hold her as she cries in pain. Its seriously the WORST thing in the world!

So today I am calling her doctor and will stalk their offices until they give her a referral to Duke to see a pediatric GI specialist who can figure out whats causing this.

Tenley is this sweet natured little girl, she is kind, and gentle and friendly and loving and she hardly ever use to cry. Now she's starting to be in almost constant pain and crying and so upset all the time. I feel so badly for her. I try to hold her and calm her down but most the time she cant sit with me because the pressure on her butt hurts her to much.

No 15 month old should have to suffer this much. So lets find out what the Doctors are gonna do because if they brush this off one more time.... its not gonna be pretty. I have been telling them since Ten's birth that something wasn't right with her poop and here we are 15 months later and its not getting any better like they said it would.

So pray, pray that the doctors will find it in their hearts to help her, pray that I don't go mad trying to get her help, and pray that my little ten will be able to heal and be that happy baby again.

What the Gym has done to me...

Ive always concerted myself a pretty level headed person, until I had children. Children have a way of bringing out the best in you and the worst in you. We've had a pretty rough couple of days and I have found that as long as I get to go to the Gym I am golden, if I don't get that hour and a half at the gym I kinda go crazy. I never thought the gym would turn into my place to escape. But every time I leave I feel better, I feel like I can be a better mommy after the gym cause all my frustrations are gone. I left them on the treadmill or in a class. Its like they seriously disappear.

I LOVE that I know if we are having a rough day that I just need to go to the gym and most the time everything is better afterwards.

Being a SAHM is HARD and when you are with your kiddos 24-7 (and yes I do mean that cause Ten isn't sleeping at night) it is exhausting and stressful and hard.

I know it might sound wrong to say I need to get away from them. But it really is whats best for mommy and babies. They need a break from us mommies and us mommies need a break from them.

Don't get me wrong I LOVE my babes, but I LOVE my gym time too.

Since we are on the topic of going to the gym. I think my body is at a stall. I think it's like you've lost 25 pounds you can be done. I'm not losing anything more. I have been at the same weight for weeks.

It might be a mental thing. I am so happy and proud of my progress and happy to be 3 jean sizes smaller, but I haven't been pushing myself as hard, I haven't been eating as well as I could be. I really think I'm (kinda) happy with how I look, but I'm not happy with the number. So over the next few month I really need to dig deep and find that inner strength to be able to lose these last 25 pounds.

I know I can do it its just doing it.

We are going to Florida in December to see my Hubby's family and surprising Marcus with going to Mickey's Very Merry Christmas Party at the magic Kingdom and by then I want to be at least 10 pounds lighter and I know that's crazy considering we are about to enter Thanksgiving and that's all about eating tons of yummy food. But I don't want to look back at these wonderful memories we are going to have and think wow I was fat.

So here's to a small goal that I want to accomplish in 5 weeks. That's 2lbs a week. 

A little bit of this and a little bit of that

There is so much going on I'm gonna make categories: Weight loss/Working out, Tenley and her Doc visit, and Signing. There is also pumpkin carving and Halloween, but those might need there own post.

 

So Weight Loss/Working out

 

Its going so well! I never thought I would get to a point where I loved my weight loss journey. Of course I love losing weight. But the dieting and working out part. Kinda sucked. I now know what my body needs to lose weight, I know how much I need to workout, how often, how long. I feel like I got the hang of it. I know that I will plateau and I will have to change a few things up but overall its getting easier. I'm not losing weight as fast and that's not fun. But the smaller you get the harder it is to lose weight. I'm not saying all this to make people think I got the hang of this and I don't need help or I know all. Its just when I first started it was so hard. I didn't know what to do or where to start or what I needed. But now I know and it makes a huge difference. But also with knowledge comes headaches. With knowing what I need to do. I find myself slacking at times. Not pushing myself to find out where I need to be. So I really need to dig deep and keep trying to push myself. Even if its not for my weight loss. I just want to know how far I can push myself mentally and physically. So this weekend my goal is to push and run 3 miles. I ran 2 miles 2 weeks ago in 25 mins. So My goal is 3 miles in 35 mins. We shall see if I can do it. I want to push myself, I want to see how much stronger I am. I have lost 24 pounds. I want to see what my body can do with 24 pounds off of it. I will report back Monday =)

Here's a picture of what 24 pounds looks like. So not happy with where I started but so glad with where I am at the half way mark.

 

 

 

 

Moving onto Tenley's Doc Appt

 

Today she had her 15 month check up and it went SOO well! Ten's normal doctor was sick so we had a new doctor see her and I LOVE him. A little back story here. We hate (okay maybe hate is too strong of a word but dislike) her doctor. She is always running behind, she spends 2 seconds with us and never listens to our concerns, she told me when I brought Marcus in for his speech that the reason he was behind in speech was because I taught him sign language and so that made him bilingual!! At Ten's 4 month appt she asked me if I was breastfeeding or formula feeding and I was so proud of myself for only BF and i proudly said BFing and she responds with "Ohhh..... you know BF doesn't give your baby all the benefits she needs right?" I was so mad!! So needless to say we have had a ton of problems with their doctor. Well when this new doctor came in and started asking questions and I told him all about Ten's GI issues he got so upset at our other doctor. Because she just put in a referral to see a GI specialist and have a colonoscopy done. We have been in many times for her GI issues and she has never done anything but refer us to a GI Spec. So he doesn't want her to go through something so traumatic at such a young age without trying antibiotics laxatives first. I'm so greatful that someone finally is listening to me. I feel like I have to be Tenleys voice and no one would listen. I have fought tooth and nail since she was 2 months old for someone to help her and finally at her 15 month appt someone does. I will forever be grateful to this doctor for giving my daughter a chance to not have to go through something so traumatic as a colonoscopy. Here's a few pics of her today =)

Before the Doctors Appt.

 

After the Appt. All pooped out because of shots.

 

So I was going to talk about signing but this is already a long post. I'll save it for a different day =)

I freaking DID IT!

I RAN 2 MILES NON STOP!!!!

 

I mean that amaze balls to me!

 

I ran without stopping! Ok I stopped once cause my leg itched but it was like a .2 second stop and then it was right back on that treadmill.

 

I use to be a runner in High School. I could out run my Husband and thats saying something cause he ran track and he was super good. Not so good at long distance but man he was fast. And I could beat him.

 

I want to get back to that. I want my husband to utter the words "You can beat me any time cause thats the most attractive thing in the world" to me again. He use to say this every time I beat him at runner and I would say "Im so sorry I beat you Honey.... NOT!"  and he would reply with that statement. I LOVED hearing it. I no longer can out run him so obviously its stopped. I never thought I would miss him saying it.

 

So 2 miles today, maybe 2.5 miles tomorrow =)

 

My Hubby's been gone for almost 2 weeks now and I miss him like crazy. He is my rock. He has been supporting me like crazy during my weight loss journey and not being able to talk to him is driving me banana's! Like I wanted to call him and tell him about my 2 miles, but I cant, I wanted to call him and tell him I lost another 2lbs but I cant. I want to just hear his voice.

 

To be able to lose weight you have to first want it for yourself, but after you find the motivation for yourself you can want it for other things too. Like I want to lose weight for me, to be a better wife to my husband, to be able to play with my kids (ok and to not be the FAT mom) and to wear super cute clothes and share clothes with my sister again.

 

I have lost 22lbs and I am ready for the rest of this weight to leave my body.

 

But I know it takes time just like it took me 2 freaking months to be able to run 2 miles straight. So weight loss is a slow journey but I wouldn't change it and I wont quit until Im healthy and even once Im healthy I know you have to keep going every day and make the right choices.