40 Weeks Pregnant...

So today I am 40 weeks pregnant.

Thats right I made it to my due date July 12, 2011.

 I am 100% MISERABLE

I miss my HUSBAND

I want to meet my baby girl so badly.

I want my body back SO badly

I want the waiting game to be over SOO BADLY

So those are the facts for today. I'm having quite a hard time today and last night. Last night I was up all night with really bad heartburn, cramps, nausea, contractions, back labor, the works. Not to mention a complete melt down cause I was so tired and so emotionally drained. I cried like a baby... I keep trying so hard to be okay with not having my hubby home for her birth. I am having such a hard time keeping my head held high and pretending to be brave and be okay with it. But you know what I cant always be strong and last night I let all the emotions I have been holding in since he left out. Which only made me more exhausted. I have such a great support system here and such love and help but sometimes I just need my husband and last night was one of those times. I needed to hear him say it was ok and that he would stay up and watch movies with me till I fell asleep, even though he has to work the next day, I just needed him. Okay so theres my sob mushy gushy for the day. 

 So when I finally got up at 530, cause I could no longer lay in bed, I told my mom and we decided to go to Labor and Delivery. The cramps had to be doing something and since I was having contractions while laying down, something had to be going on... NOT! We got there and it was a total bust. They really could have cared less that I had cramps cause my contractions wernt coming every 3 mins. I'm so frustrated. Then they checked me and informed me that when I have been checked in the past my midwives only checked the outer cervix they never checked the inner cervix and apparently the inner cervix is what matters and well that one is closed. So I'm a 3 on the outer and a 0 on the inner. Talk about taking the little glimmer of hope I had left. So apparently I'm still at the beginning.

I am so emotionally and physically drained. I now understand why women "complain" at the end. I just want to meet my little girl and move on to the next chapter of our lives. At the most I have 10 more days of being pregnant. So I can make it 10 days. Ive made it 300 some days being preggo I can make it 10 more days. Just cross your fingers that my family can deal with me for another 10 days. haha =P

I will leave you all with a 40 week picture. I am deffintly large and so ready.