So last week my little man turned 2 and a half and today Tenley turns 4 weeks old. It hit me kind of hard. Everyday I look at him and think how did you get so big? When did you become this big boy? Where did my baby go?
8 years ago I was told that my chances of ever getting pregnant were slim to none or we would need "help" conceiving. At 16 years old I wasn't overly concerned about it. I didn't want to have a baby for years so I would "deal" with it then. When Chris and I decided to get married at 18 I knew that I had to "deal" with it then. Not because I wanted kids right away but because I needed to make sure that Chris knew it was a possibility and make sure he knew what he was getting himself into. He reassured me that he wanted to be with me and if that meant never having kids well then that was ok. Fast forward 3 years into our marriage. I was still being told that we would need "help" to have a baby. So we still were thinking it wasn't going to happen until one day I had Chris run over to his moms house for something we needed for our trip to FL for 2 weeks and while he was gone I got a funny feeling and went and took a pregnancy test. You ask why I even had one. Well I had one because even though I knew it couldn't happen. I still took a test A LOT! We never used birth control and I always thought humm I think my period should already be here and I would take a test and it would always say NEGATIVE or NOT PREGNANT. Well this time I took the test and walked away knowing that it would say the same thing but I thought maybe I should make sure before we go and celebrate my 21st birthday in FL. So I walked away and about 10 mins later I walked into the bathroom to pack my bathroom stuff and glanced at the test and had to do a double triple take and say the word PREGNANT. I sat down in the middle of the bathroom floor and started shaking. Im not quite sure why I was so scared and why I started shaking but I was terrified. I called Chris and told him I took a test and that I needed another one cause it was probably broken. Well I sat on the floor until Chris came rushing home with another test and I took both and they both said positive. Chris started crying and I started crying and it was the happiest moment of my life thinking that there was this little miracle baby growing in my belly. I hadn't wanted to get pregnant so young and so early into our marriage. But knowing God had blessed us with this little baby made everything ok.
I will always hold a very very special place in my heart just for Marcus because he was never supposed to be here. He is our little miracle and to look at him now it melts my heart because I cant imagine life without him. I love him more then words can ever say and everytime he hits a new milestone Im reminded of how precious life is and how you should never take it for granted.
I am now blessed with two little miracles. My doctors said the cure for what I had was getting pregnant. At the time its like so what I have means I can never get pregnant but the best cure for it is getting pregnant. Gee thanks. But obviously it was the cure cause after 6 months of trying to get pregnant we found out I was pregnant again. God really does work in mysterious ways. We went into our marriage thinking we would be one of those old married couples with no kids and we were fine with that. But now we are a young couple with 2 kids under 3. I feel so blessed and so grateful for what we have been given.
Marcus Levi you are the light in my life. Your laughter melts my heart. I love to sit and watch you play and run around and scream. I love how you say I love you. I love how much you love your little sister and how protective you are of her I love how you come running up to me when you hurt yourself and want me to blow on your boo boo. I love how if you see that I have a boo boo you blow on it and say okay mommy. I love how you come and sit on the couch and hold my hand. I love how much you shake when you are signing please or more cause you want something so badly. I just love you little man and cant believe you are 2.5 years old.
Tenley Prius you are this little angel baby. I love snuggling with you. I would snuggle with you all day long if I could. I love how you don't cry during the night when your hungry you just lay in your crib and go "urgggggghhhhh" haha. I love you so much already and cant wait to see the person you are going to become. I can not believe you are 4 weeks old today. Time is seriously passing by so fast and I want to stop it for awhile and snuggle with you.
I know this was a long sappy blog. But its hard to think about my babies growing up and its hard to think about what life would have been like without them. I cant imagine my life any other way. I love those 2 kiddos so much. I just cant wait until Daddy is home and can see them and we can finally all be together again. =)
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