So I am new to the blogging world. But with all these thoughts bouncing around in my head all day I need a place where I can have an outlet. Even if no one ever reads my blog it doesn't matter because I will have a place to write. The second reason I am doing this is to make it a little easier for my husband to see whats going on in our everyday life.
My dear sweet Husband is leaving, again. Right now he is tucked away in our bed but soon he will be far far away fighting for our freedom. This is his third deployment in 5 years. He has spent a total of 27 months over seas in the past 5 years and is about to be gone for 12 more.
This is why I need a place to express my fears, thoughts, happy moments, sad moments, funny moments. I just need an outlet.
Our little boy is 2 almost 2.5 and is completely in LOVE with his daddy. He is currently in his room playing with his toys with no clue how much his life is about to change. No clue that his daddy will be leaving soon and that he will not get to see him till R&R which is 6 months away. Last night we put him to bed together and we just sat there on his bed kissing his checks and holding his hand and telling him we both love him and that one day we will all be back together. And then my sweet husband started to tell him that he was leaving and that he was going to miss him so much. But what does all this mean to a 2 year old... Nothing. He just layed there looked at us as if saying "Um excuse me but Im trying to go to sleep". So we got up and left.
We also have a little girl on the way, Tenley Grace. She is due in 6 weeks. I am so blessed to be having her, but at the same time so upset that my hubby will miss her birth and the first 5 months of her life. I am broken hearted over knowing all that he will miss... again. He missed all of Marcus first 15 months of life between moving and a deployment, he missed it all and now has to miss it all again. It breaks my heart. I know that I can do all this without him, I just dont want to have to. If that makes any sense at all. Chris is my rock, my sanity, my everything. When Marcus was born I was having a hard time dealing with the contractions before my epi and he sat by my bed side and sang disney songs to me. It made me laugh and it made me sing with him. But I forgot all about those darn contractions because of him. When he busted out just keep swimming from Nemo during one of my contractions I about died from laughter. Who's going to be there this time to keep me from feeling the contractions.
So those are the thoughts in my mind right now. Thoughts about him leaving again, thoughts about how our little boy is going to take coming home and Daddy being gone, and how our little girl is going to enter this world without her Daddy here and not meeting him till she's 5 months old.
These next 12 months will be a roller coaster of emotions, but we will get through them just like we have before. We have the support of our family who lives 5 mins in one direction and 5 mins in another direction and 2 sister in laws that live pretty much across the street. We are very blessed to have so many loved ones close by and I know that they will be here with us every step of the way. =)
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